ADRRESSING Autobiography
Write two paragraphs of minimum 500 words (total). In each of these paragraphs, reflect on one Rank category, and the skills that you most often use as Target or Agent. Please give one specific example for each skill. Fewer points will be awarded for general answers. Please also note that you must speak specifically about the ranking system, which means speaking to the ADRRESSING categories.
Here is an example of a specific story from my life where I used awareness skills. One day my friend was over and she was hanging out with my 3 year old. As she left, she asked for a hug from the 3 year old, and he responded by turning away. This indicated that he did not want to touch her or be touched. The message was crystal clear. When he turned away, my friend approached him and reached out and slapped his butt lightly, saying, “oh, so shy, I will just pat your tooshie” He looked unhappy, and the moment passed. I was horrified, but said nothing. I was just frozen in place. I still want to bring the issue up with her, but I am not sure how to talk about it.
Children’s bodily autonomy is violated constantly in our culture. When they say “no” in their own way (by turning away very clearly) they are ignored. Even when they say no very directly, using the word “NO!” they are still ignored, and people hug, kiss, and pat them against their wishes.
Rank
Relationship to Rank
Skill most often used in daily life
Age
Target
Indifference
Disability
Agent
Indifference/Distancing
Race
Target
Inclusion/Awareness
Religious Culture
Target
Indifference/Distancing
Ethnicity
Target
Distancing/Inclusion
Social Class Culture
Target
Distancing/Inclusion
Sexual Orientation
Agent
Indifference
Indigenous Heritage
Target
Inclusion/Awareness
National Origin
Target
Indifference/Distancing
Gender
Target
Confusion
Spend some time thinking about how often you think about each one of the Rank categories in a typical day. This will give you an idea of what skills you use most often in your daily life.
· If you never think about a particular rank, and you are an agent, than you are probably using indifference skills.
· If you never think about a particular rank, and you are a target, then you are probably using survival skills.
List the most common skills that you use daily.
· Remember that the skills are holiarchal–meaning that you cannot “skip” skills sets.
· If you use indifference, then the next most common skill will be distancing.
· If you use confusion, then the next most common skill will be empowerment.
· If you find that you only use one skill, just list that one.
· Also keep in mind that we are talking about the skills used MOST OFTEN, not the skills that you do or do not have access to.
· For example, I think about ageism every time I visit or talk to my grandparents, and I have some awareness skills around that, but most days I do not use these skills, and instead I exercise indifference. Notice that this has little do with how I feel about ageism–I feel quite strongly that it is harmful. But I am not basing my notes on how I feel. Rather, I am observing the actions that I take most often in relation to age.
· In another example, I would say there are times when I have been able to use ally skills in relation to the Rank of Race, but this takes incredible skill and energy, and most days, I find myself using inclusion or awareness.
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