fix-my-paper-according-to-teacher-comment-writing-homework-help
fix-my-paper-according-to-teacher-comment-writing-homework-help
two files are attached one is details and other dc file is my work
i need to fix my work according to instructor comment given below
The paper appears to be missing several of the key requirements, as outlined in the syllabus. I have attached to this e-mail the paper directions, with highlights to assist in your review and update of the draft. In addition, the report does not include any outside research from sources including and not limited to the organization’s website and corporate report, our textbook, SHRM, The New York Times, and scholarly journals. As such, if I were grading this paper as a final submission, here is how I would grade it vis-a-vis the rubric in the syllabus:
Topic and Introduction – 0 – the paper does not include a one paragraph introduction sharing what the reader should expect in the paper, and what topics will be explored.
Content – 1.2 – Bullet lists and large graphics do not count towards meeting the page count requirements. Also, the paper lacks the depth expected of a term project for a graduate course at LIU. For example, on page 11 the interviewee states that the turnover rate is 1.0%. I find that extremely hard to believe! There should be a discussion about turnover rates in industry and in the US to compare and contrast with American Tractor, as well as a discussion about what factors in the company have led to this amazingly low turnover rate! Furthermore, the paper lacks the essential requirements for the assignment as outlined in the attached excerpt from the syllabus. For example, the paper contains only one recommendation for change. Three are required. In addition, that recommendation for change is not fully explored in the paper. Why are you recommending this change related to data security and EU Directives? How does this link to the other content in the report? Is American Tractor a global business? Are they having issues in Europe? There needs to be a stronger connection in the paper to build the case for this recommendation.
Use of References – 1.0 – there is an interview in the document and it appears, but I don’t know for certain, that text from the company’s website comprises the first 3 pages of the report. There are no other sources used, however.
Documentation – 0
Organization – 0.5 – there is some flow to the document. However, at times points seem to appear without transitions or support.
Grammar – 0
Synthesis and Conclusion – 0 – Similar to the topic and introduction comments above, the paper lacks a 1 to 2 paragraph summary of what was explored.
Total score = 2.7 out of 10
